


New Beginnings

by musesmistress, TheNox_Lya



Series: True Destiny [3]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Reality, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2019-07-06
Packaged: 2019-09-28 15:28:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17185586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musesmistress/pseuds/musesmistress, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNox_Lya/pseuds/TheNox_Lya
Summary: Starting fresh on a new planet thousands of lightyears from home with no way of contacting them. Things couldn't be worse? Could they?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Still no beta readers on these stories - would appreciate any help if you are intersted :)

John looked at Elizabeth in complete astonishment. This did explain why she wasn’t feeling well. He swallowed and looked at her. The thought of him sleeping with her while she was pregnant with another man’s baby sickening him. “Oh,” he breathed and swallowed again. A lump formed in his throat. He didn’t know how to respond to this. He felt awkward and pressured by her confession. How could she just throw at him that she was pregnant? Didn’t she realize that he still felt completely confused about sleeping with her? He had no idea why he had let it happen. He sighed silently and built up enough courage to say something. "I... I guess... congratulations are in order."

The words slipped from his lips while he tried to swallow against the idea of a strange man having a baby with her. He was happy for her. He really was, but the words stung, especially after what happened between the two of them. It had been a mistake, but he couldn’t deny that it had felt good. Her warm skin under his hands, her sweet smell and not to mention the eruption of passion itself. But it had been a mistake, something that shouldn’t have happened and something he wanted to try to forget.

His eyes darted to see Elizabeth and he could see she was confused. It struck him that maybe he shouldn’t have congratulate her. Maybe she wasn’t happy about it. After all she was stuck here in the Pegasus Galaxy, while he was still on Earth. John’s mind buzzed with emotions and words mixing together, but nothing came out. For this he was actually thankful and hoped he wouldn’t make the situation worse. He was extremely bad at handling exactly this kind of talks in a relation. It had partway ruined his marriage and now it dented his newly formed friendship with Elizabeth.

He moved his hand through his hair and stared at the box in her hands. Her fingertips had turned white from pressure as if she was trying to hold on to something that could slip away from her in an instant. "I'm sorry you're stuck out here," he stammered. He had wanted to say the sentence fluent and strong, but each word had left his mouth faltering and getting weaker.

"The timing sucks," Elizabeth said with a small laugh between some tears.

John could see her fight against her emotions and he knew she wasn’t a person who would admit easily that she wasn’t feeling well. The need to be in complete control over her emotions had been obvious from the beginning. With only one exception, the night they had slept together. The night he had let her go ahead with something she must be regretting now. He pasted a weak smile on his lips and sought for words to comfort and support her in what probably was one of the most difficult times for her. "Yeah, and for your child to grow up without its father... I'm so sorry, Elizabeth." He felt pain stinging in his heart and eyes. Pain because it hurt him to see Elizabeth like this and because… He sighed. This was not the right time to think about what could have been between them. She was his boss, she was engaged to someone else and now she was having that man’s child.

A large dose of worries fell down over her face and she swallowed nervously. Her eyes shot up to meet his. "John, it's not Simon's baby."

John got struck by the thundering burst of words which simply couldn’t be true. "What?" he exclaimed to get a confirmation he understood was she was implying.

Newly formed tears slowly ran down Elizabeth’s face. "It's yours."

No, no. This wasn’t happening. This was a bad dream, a very bad one. He couldn’t have a child with her. Not with her while she… she was still engaged. She probably still loved the men. It… “What!” He stood up, took a few paced back and stared at her in horror. The short distance seemed to grow as if he was being pulled into a deep and dark corner of his mind. "That can't be possible." Confusion spread rapidly and out of control. His mind was about to explode from the built up pressure.

Elizabeth had gotten up too and followed him cautiously "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for this to happen."

Her words reached his mind, were processed and expelled. It was unbelievable that she had used him in this way. She had started it. She had pushed the first kiss. He had no intention at all of having sex with her when he’d gone to sign those damn papers. How could he have let himself be dragged into this mess? And better yet, how to get out of it? He turned his back "No, no, this is not happening." He couldn’t accept her words as truth, not now.

"What do you want me to say?" Her soft voice trembled from the pain. She placed her hand on his shoulder.

Anger started to emerge in his head. He couldn’t help it. It didn’t matter how nice Elizabeth was, because for the moment he was just angry with her. Angry about what had happened. It had to be a mistake. He still couldn’t believe this was happening to him. From what he knew about having kids it didn’t fit the picture. He never wanted to have kids like this. With fury in his eyes he turned back and saw he’d scared her slightly. "This." He glanced at her stomach, "Can't... it's just not... why...? You can't be sick so soon, right? Are you sure?"

Her eyes searched for a spark of hope. She swallowed before she spoke, "Carson's sure." A short moment of silence followed and John could see an uncomfortable pain ripping her apart. "So was the wraith you killed," she whimpered and swallowed against the welling tears.

John shook his head and looked at her in disbelief. “I'm confused... I thought we were safe."

"We should have been,” Elizabeth said and lowered her head. “I had intended to go to the infirmary and get a morning after pill, I just never got the chance."

Her confession, explanation and not to forget the fact that she was going to have his child sunk in. The realization spiralled down his spine to end in his heels, digging them deep in the moist ground. "Well that sucks, thank you for making it my problem now too!"

"I'm sorry," Elizabeth shouted "I went from meeting to meeting all day. By the time I remembered it was too late."

"That's just great." John scuffled his feet, trying to vent some of his fury. He didn’t want to pass it all to Elizabeth, although she did deserve it.

He puffed all the air out of his lungs and filled them with fresh oxygen. However, before he could continue to ramble, she interrupted him "I'm sorry, John. I don't know what else to say."

Streaks of salty tears covered her cheeks and it confused him even more. "I don't know... I... I just can't, not now." He turned around and didn’t wait for any interruption. While he walked back towards the camp he could hear her crying intensify. A part of him felt hurt and compassion for her, but another part knew he had to get away and think about the situation. One thing he knew for sure, staying there with her would only make it worse. His steps got larger, taking him further away from the slowly dissolving cries he left behind.

~~**~~

Elizabeth hadn’t expected it. She couldn’t explain what she had expected, but to watch John just walk away hurt more than she thought it would. She’d spent the last few hours sitting on the rock considering how to tell him, how he would react, yet his response had stung at her emotions.

"I don't know... I... I just can't, not now." He turned away from her, before moving away.

The onslaught of emotion was uncontrollable and harsh and she started to cry, no silent tears, no control over her body, she just cried as she forced herself to turn away from the camp and sit back down. The rock didn’t seem suitable anymore. She didn’t deserve anything high or dry. She should be sitting on the ground, damp from earlier rain and muddy. She sank down onto the wet ground and pulled her knees up close, hiding her face in the material of her pants and wrapping her arms around her legs.

She couldn’t control the shaking of her body, the ache in her heart as everything seemed to weigh heavily on her. It was one big mess, they had no protection, they weren’t where they were meant to be and Earth had no way of finding them later, the Wraith had killed a portion of their personnel and now she was pregnant with one of her staff. The only thing she had to be thankful for right now was that Simon wasn’t there with them. She could only imagine the mess of the situation if he had been their chief medical officer, the arguments, the shouting, the fighting, the quickly spreading information that she, proper, well known and dignified Doctor Elizabeth Weir had crumbled a few weeks before they left and slept with John Sheppard.

She could hear Simon’s disgusted argument. The ‘how could you with a scruffy man like him?’ making it sound as though John lived on the streets and never cared for his personal hygiene. The ‘what were you thinking not using a condom?’ that would make it clear he thought John was riddled with any number of diseases from sleeping around.

The thoughts only made her cry harder.

The hand on her shoulder made her jump and for a split second she thought John had come back and she turned sharply. Carson’s apologetic smile brought a sharp painful sob from her throat and she leaned into him without caring. She heard a clink as he put a cup down on the stone behind her and then the warmth as his arms wrapped around her. She felt pathetic, unable to control herself. She hadn’t managed it that night with John and she couldn’t do it now, sitting on the edge of a cliff crying her eyes out over something she couldn’t change. Well, that wasn’t true. She could change part of it, but no matter what she did now John would hate her anyway.

Carson said nothing, just sat with her, his arms tight around her and waited. For what she didn’t know. Her crying to stop? Her pain to ease? He’d have a long wait for that last one, or perhaps just the right moment to say something. Regardless, he said nothing until she’d ran out of tears and then set her back against the rock and reached for the cup.

“Here,” he said offering it to her, “thought you might need some water.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly, her throat dry from crying.

“I wondered when it would really sink in,” he said, joining her on the mud. Elizabeth didn’t reply, she didn’t honestly know how to. She rested her head back on the rock and stared up at the sky wishing the worst of this nightmare was over, that they already had a camp set up, food flowing in and a fresh water supply as well as trading partners for medicine and ammunition. But she had nothing. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I’d like to wake up from this nightmare now.”

“You and me both, love. But I’m afraid we’re both stuck in it for the time being.”

She huffed out an attempt at laughing and then turned to face him. “I’m sorry,” she said and watched his face crease in confusion. “I didn’t mean to bring you our here to start running for your life.”

“I volunteered, we all did.”

“Then I’m sorry for your dirty pants and soaked t-shirt,” she said indicating the wet patch from her tears. Carson laughed. She could let him believe that she was sorry for that while she continued on with her first explanation for the word. “Do you have your shifts worked out?”

“For the most part,” he said picking up small rock. “We’re working on a twenty-four hour clock though and I have no idea if there are more or less than that in a day here.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed considering that he might be right, it was late now, but the sun had only just set. “When we’re a little more settled, I’ll have to find someone who can figure out all the details of the planet. At this moment though, I can’t even think about what I have to do tomorrow beyond get out of bed.”

“If you need to talk, Elizabeth...” he didn’t finish the sentence and for a moment silence slipped between them.

“I don’t know if I can just yet. It’s too complicated, too much of a mess and my brain is just scream to forget for later while the rest of me is fighting back with ‘get it over with’.” She sighed and dropped her head into her hands for a moment before she pulled herself back up. “Besides, there’s more important thing to deal with now.”

“You’re health is important, mental as well as physical and while I can deal with most of the physical you can do yourself damage if you don’t talk about what’s going on. We’re trapped out here, there’s no one else for us to turn to and you are the one that has to set the example. Letting it sit unattended in your brain for a while isn’t going to help you at all and will only put you back in the medical tent. You need to talk about this, figure out what you’re going to do, how you’re going to cope with a baby. You’ll find it much easier to concentrate on all the people out there who, tomorrow, are going to look at you and expect, unfairly I might add, you to have answers to their questions.”

Elizabeth nodded. “I agree, but, no offence, Carson, you’re not the person I need to talk to right now.”

“Aye,” he said with a slightly amused lilt in his voice. “So long as I’m not at the bottom of your list of people.”

“Absolutely not,” she said, “there are many people I’ve hired who I wouldn’t dream of confiding in.”

“Good, just so long as Doctor Heightmeyer isn’t in that list,” he said with a smile. “If you won’t talk about it, get some sleep, Elizabeth. You need to be fresh to face all that brainpower out there.”

Elizabeth nodded, smiled at him and watched as he walked away. Tomorrow would be a long day, with John ignoring her, people asking her what to do and Carson hanging over her shoulder to make sure she had something to eat. She sighed and climbed to her feet and walked away from the rock and back to the camp and vanished quickly into her own tent.

~~**~~

John sat down on one of the large lumber trunks near the water. One of the moon's reflected in the clear water, faintly illuminating his surroundings. The cold air filled his lungs, numbing his body and mind. He had been walking around the camp area for hours and scouted a large part of the surrounding forest. Even while everything had seemed safe, he had checked most places twice. He couldn’t go back to the camp. He couldn’t risk running into Elizabeth. Besides, trying to get some sleep seemed pointless. His mind was still one big mess. Words were colliding, thoughts crashing, emotions exploding and guilt stabbing. A searing pain kept chasing him, making him run further away from the camp, further away from the cause of his pain. However, he couldn’t explain where the pain came from.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to think about what could have happened and what could happen in the future. He wasn’t someone to plan weeks ahead, but he did realize that it was their actions that had alerted the Wraith about a new feeding ground. Fortunate for them if they couldn’t reach Earth, then the Wraith most likely couldn’t get there either. For a brief moment there was peace in his head. The peace that he did everything in his might to save as many people as possible.

He turned and spotted a path of rocks and trunks leading to the large flat rock in the middle of the nearby water. He rose from the trunk and stepped from one rock to a trunk, to another rock. The surface was slippery from the water combined with algal growth. With a last jump he reached the flat surface of the last rock and almost slipped. He was barely able to keep his balance, and smiled at his triumph. He would worry later about how to get back to the bank. In the worst case he had to wade back. He estimated that the water depth would be around fifteen inches, meaning it would reach below his knees. The only thing that could throw him off was the current and the freezing temperature of the water.

He was confident that he and Elizabeth could keep this group of people together and keep them safe. They had already met others that would be willing to help them and there would be others in the galaxy. His eyes counted the stars and he nodded. There were enough possible planets with friends. Carefully he sat down on the rock and glanced over the moving water surface. The name Elizabeth repeated itself a couple of times in his mind. It was good to know what was wrong with her and know it was nothing serious. However, it was not something that would pass. No, she would have a child and it would be his child. He drifted back into the jumble of thoughts that needed his opinion. One moment he was jealous about her fianceé and the next he was angry with her because it was his child. She probably still loved the man and if she wasn’t stranded out here they would most likely raise his child. It stung and for the shortest possible moment he was glad they were stuck out here. At least this way he still had a chance to see his child grow up. Maybe if they were back on Earth she wouldn’t have told him it was his child. No. Elizabeth was an honest person and she wouldn’t do that to him, would she? He shook his head, no she would tell him, but…

The situation stayed complex, no matter how he changed his point of view on the subject. The obvious conclusion made clear that what he and Elizabeth did was plain wrong and should never have happened. How could he have done this to her? He knew very well that being pregnant wasn’t what she wanted too. It was equally hard for her, maybe even more, considering she had a whole expedition to lead. She had a major disadvantage because of the hormonal change in her body. From what he had heard of pregnant woman and hormones he could be in for a surprising few months. Hormones and trouble, a whole new subject on his mind. He wondered how he should handle any outburst? What if she would have one of those outbursts at the wrong moment, maybe when they were meeting the wrong kind of people? She could endanger not only herself but the whole expedition. He had to think about this too and consider a way to keep her safe, them he meant to include his baby too. It didn’t matter how it had happened, the fact was that it did, with a growing baby inside Elizabeth as the result. His baby. He sighed and raised his head towards the sky again.

He felt silly when a smile curled his lips. Finally he gave in and the memories came back to him. How she had seduced and kissed him. How soon they actually had ended up naked, clothes lying around everywhere. A part of him had felt like he was a teenager again. Sneaking and fooling around with a girl, trying to get even with his dad, who always said he was reckless. Well again the old man was right, he totally was. A short laugh left his throat. This would certainly be the story to make it to the family’s black book. The irresponsible John Sheppard, impregnate his boss.

More memories surfaced and the one memory he had hoped to forget took shape in front of his eyes. From all the things he could come up with, Nancy has to torture his mind too. Her look at him when he just said he had to leave on a secret mission, without any further explanation. Admittedly, he was good in hurting women. Just one glance and he could stab them in the heart. Just like he had done with Elizabeth. He had devastated her with his reckless words, implying that it was all her fault. Instead of offering her some comfort and reaching out his hand, he had made her plunge into a deep, dark and lonely place. He had run off because he couldn’t deal with it, but it had to be even harder for her. She didn’t deserved to be treated like this and he had to apologize for his stupidity.

A shrieking sound came from behind and startled him. Instinctively he jumped to his feet, turned on his pocket light and aimed his gun towards the waterfall. His heart was beating rapidly and he realized he had let down his guard while soaking himself in self pity. This was not the time to dramatize everything, but this was the time to take action and work on some way to keep the expedition in one piece. The sound had stopped and everything seemed normal. With his light he shone around the area and spotted something that looked like a cave entry or something behind the waterfall. He would check it out before returning to the camp and apologize to Elizabeth.


	2. Chapter 2

It was still early in the morning when John walked into the camp area. Most of the people were still asleep, only the guards and a hand full of Athosians were awake. He nodded at them, as he crossed the field. The whole night he had gone without sleep, wandering around the place and checking the safety of the vicinity. It had taken him a while to gather the nerve to go back to Elizabeth and apologize for his outburst.

He had realized that he was too harsh in responding to her confession the night before . He still didn’t know what to think of it, but one thing was clear. He had to talk to her and tell her he was sorry for just walking out on her. He was very aware that it wasn’t totally her fault that she was pregnant. He participated in the 'whole baby making process' and should take some responsibility for it. He just wasn’t sure what or how.

He walked up to her tent and looked around him to see if anyone was watching. Nerves crawled up his spine, he didn’t know for sure if it was because of what happened back on Earth, but he felt uncomfortable standing at her door. For a moment he questioned his reasons for being there. Maybe she was asleep. She was exhausted, it wouldn’t be unexpected if she was still in her cramped bed. However, he wanted to solve their dispute before the others wake and things got awkward. After all, their thing shouldn’t get in the way with their professional relationship. They were both responsible for keeping this expedition in one piece.

John took a deep breath and looked around again before he ruffled the tent door. "Elizabeth, can I come in?" he whispered. If she was asleep she probably wouldn’t hear it and deep inside he hoped this was the case. At least she would have gotten some rest.

He was about to walk away when movement inside the tent caught his ear. His mouth went dry and he glanced at the ground, not sure what he was supposed to do or say. He hadn’t rehearsal anything to say and he knew he was very bad at handling personal issues. It was too late to walk away and he kicked himself for even considering it. He shook his head and looked up when the tent door moved to the side.

Elizabeth looked dead tired. She was pale and fatigue covered her face. On top of that, she was fully dressed, making him aware that she hadn’t been asleep at all. He swallowed again and felt a painful, difficult feeling inside his guts.

“Depends on if you're here to shout at me again or not,” Elizabeth said with a plain tone to her voice. Her eyes were harsh, but she was very good at hiding her anger and sadness.

He looked down at his boots, still wet from the water at the creek and scuffled them in the dirt before he dared to look straight in her eyes. She was expecting him to say something, but he lacked the vocabulary to make proper sentences. “I…” He started, stammering slightly. “I actually… came to offer an apology," he swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut, not daring to see the reaction he would get from her.

To his surprise Elizabeth opened the tent door wider. "I'm listening."

"Inside?" he asked unsure if he was supposed to step inside or not. His head turned to both sides, scanning the area to see if anyone was watching them. However, the few people awake seemed busy with their own things and not interested in his visit to Elizabeth’s tent. He turned back to Elizabeth and saw the remaining of a ‘whatever’ look as she stepped back in her tent and the canvas slapped back in his face.

Her action didn’t make it any easier for him, but he couldn’t chicken out right now. Carefully he tugged the tent door aside and stepped in. Automatically he scanned the tent, as if there could be danger lurking from under her bed. After he was done following his normal routine he turned to her and saw her look right through him. She didn’t say a word and just stared at him. "I'm sorry for yesterday.” He cleared his throat. “I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry."

Suddenly her attitude changed, anger no longer spread from her, but remorse took over. "You had every right to be angry. I practically told you a month ago you didn't need a condom and this is what happens. You should be flattered, though."

He was a little confused by her words, but put a faint smile on his lips. "I know and I am, but I'm just very bad at these things you know. It just wasn't what I expected."

A short moment of silence followed where the both of them didn’t know what to say. He looked at his watch, the change in shifts was only fifteen minutes away and it wouldn’t be long before someone came looking for Elizabeth.

Elizabeth picked up her brush and started combing her hair. She was testing his patience, but this time he wasn’t going to rush her. They would work it out and everything would get back to normal. It took minutes to brush her curls out. John lowered his eyes down to his watch and tried to flip the protection cover without too much attention. "I know," she started reaching for her boots and sitting down to tie the laces. "But I didn't mean my ok for no condom to be the flattering bit."

He narrowed his eyes and watched her to put on the second boot. "Really, why not?" Naturally a wide smirk had formed on his face and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was back in his element and teasing was just a part of that. Besides, He couldn’t pretend to be someone else. If they both were to work together she had to get used to his character, just as he had to learn hers. In reaction to his question, she just slightly shook her head and grinned. She rose from the cot and she was barely standing before she stumbled forward. Instantly John leaned forward and caught her. "Careful!” He exclaimed. “Maybe we should see the doctor first."

"No. Dizziness is a part of morning sickness, maybe I should stand up slower next time," she said jokingly and with a smile. Quickly she regained her balance and took a deep breath to overcome her discomfort.

"Okay, are you sure? Because I can call the doc here if you like?" He was worried for her health and that of the baby. His baby! He still hadn’t gotten used to that idea and each time he thought about the baby he had to correct himself and repeat that it was ‘his’ baby. He would have a child with Doctor Elizabeth Weir. It still seemed impossible. 

“I think you've just set a new record,” she said with a laugh. “Pissed off to over protective in less than..." She glanced at her watch. “9 hours.”

He narrowed his eyes and let the fact sink in, realizing she was right. It was as if he was pregnant too, his emotions rushing from one extreme to another, not certain where they would settle. He thought about it for a second longer and like the protective mood for a while. "So you're feeling fine now?"

“No,” she said lightly. "I'm freaked out about being pregnant and lost in the Pegasus galaxy while suffering morning sickness.”

John could read the honesty and concerns. It had already struck him a few times that they weren’t in the best position to begin with, adding a pregnant leader would not make things any better. Thinking about it, he couldn’t think of one advantage her pregnancy could have.

“I shouldn't have yelled at you and I'm sorry. I'm hoping we can talk about it. I don't mean it, I mean...” That last piece came out stammering after he had lost concentration. However, her smile made it up.

“You're not good at this are you?”

Her beautiful and kind face made his mind return to normal functioning. “I'm lousy at this kind of conversation.” He considered that to be his imperfection and hoped his confession would grant him some sympathy. At least it would show her that he trusted her, even on a personal level.

Elizabeth folded her hands in her lap and bowed her head down. Not long after she raised it again and John could see pain in her eyes. She hesitated for a moment, but finally spoke. “Simon and I have been trying for a baby for seven months. Last few months he started blaming me for not being pregnant yet.” She turned her head away from him and the glitter in her eyes betrayed the level of pain she had gone through.

“Sounds like a greater jerk then I am.”

She laughed and turned her head back to him. “I don't know about that, chances are he's not going to wait for me. I do know, that it was his fault I wasn't pregnant, not mine - which is why you should be flattered. Seven months with him, one night with you.” She blinked the tear from her eye and weakly smiled at him.

John felt somewhat uncomfortable after she pressed the fact straight in his face. He moved his hand through his hair and forced a smile in response to her. “I certainly wouldn't have guessed.”

“I guess it’s true what they say about pilots. They like doing all things fast.”

This sentence made him smile for real. No words were required to admit or protest. “I'm actually relieved to know what's wrong with you. You had me worried sick.”

The smile on her face remained and it even seemed as if she was relaxing. “Well the stress, lack of food and fear of being eaten by a life sucking alien didn't help. Carson gave me something that should stop me throwing up as much.”

“Good,” he said. “Cause you really shouldn't just wander off like that. When I saw that Wraith near you...” He stopped and didn’t want to finish that line. The horror of what he had seen inside the Wraith ship was still fresh in his memory. “I have seen enough of them for a while.”

“That makes two of us.” Her voice was quivering and she looked away from him again.

Her breathing started to become irregular. “What?” He got up from the bed and sat down on his heels in front of her. Gently he put his hand on her shoulder for comfort. “What is it? Elizabeth?”

Her face turned pale and she started shaking. “Ford died trying to kill him.”

“I know.” He soothed her and gently rubbed her upper arm. He sighed silently, trying to get his mind in one piece again. He didn’t want to be reminded of his friend’s death, but the strain it put on Elizabeth was horrible. “I have his dog tags in my tent, along with the Purple Heart Doctor Corrigan was carrying.” He turned her face towards him, lifting her chin up. “We couldn't find you in time. Sorry.”

She sniffed and fought against the tears “I should have listened to you. Should have seen Carson earlier instead of putting it off and getting them killed.”

John knew exactly where it had gone wrong, the moment he had realized Elizabeth was missing a surge of panic had taken him off balance. It made him sloppy in following protocol. In normal circumstances this would not have happened, but his protectiveness about her health had bugged him since he had seen her collapse the first time she came through the gate.

He pressed his fingers tight around her chin. Not enough to cause pain, but enough pressure to make her listen. “It's not your fault.” Each word emphasized and spoken slowly to make sure she would take in the meaning behind it. “I…,” he started. “I had forgotten that the Stargate would close. Rodney explained it to me when I got back.” He deliberately pulled the guilt back towards him. It wasn’t her fault for the lack of protocol and for him panicking after she went missing. He should have known that she was nearby. “I should have redialled the gate before looking for you.”

“I shouldn't have walked away in the first place.”

Wet eyes, full with unreleased tears looked at him, desperate from the burden she felt. “Elizabeth, please. I'm sorry okay. I really am.” He observed her and her fragile state made him worry. “Are you sure you're okay, you look a little pale.”

“Please stop saying you're sorry.” Her tone was serious, letting him know she didn’t want him to feel guilty. “I just need to calm down.” She tried calming her breathing and a single tear slipped down her cheek.

With his thumb, he wiped the tear from her cheek. “A baby,” He breathed. “I'm still a bit nervous about it. I want to help out, but don't know how.”

“Me either.” A minor smile made it to her face. “I had planned to buy a book.”

“A book?” he asked. A deep frown appeared on his face and he didn’t quite understand what she meant by buying a book.

She chuckled. “Yeah. You didn't know they had books on babies and being a parent?”

Okay, that question was awkward and made him feel uncomfortable. He pushed his hand through his hair. “No.” A smile telling her he was blank on the subject gave away the level of discomfort. “Not my section in the bookstore.” Those last words were caught by a teasing smirk. He could deal with things he wasn’t ready for. He just needed some time.

“First thing I thought of when Carson told me was that I couldn’t do this. We don't have any medication I could take if something happened. None of the doctors are obstetricians...”

“Oh boy.” Her words were calm, but somehow she was able to make him panic. “He can deliver a baby right. You choose him as one of the best doctors.”

“Best surgeon,” she corrected him. “So I'm okay if I need a c-section. I'm sorry; I shouldn't put this on you.”

“Okay, so what do we do?” The level of adrenaline in his body was rising quickly, but he couldn’t find an answer for his question. He had no idea that having a child could be this complicated. Not just the fact that it was complicated that the baby was Elizabeth’s and his, but also the pregnancy, delivery and even after. They had no schools or proper education. Where was the baby going to sleep? And clothes? And food, they didn’t know what was safe to eat themselves, babies probably had… He took a deep breath. He knew nothing about babies, there was no way he could raise one..

“I'll assume you want an answer better than 'panic'?” She interrupted him.

Her eyes sparkled from seeing him shocked like this. He sighed and relaxed his shoulders. “Yeah. Hmm... okay, so does anyone know it's our baby?”

“No, just us.”

Finally he was able to calm down again. The baby wasn’t born yet and it would still take a few months, so they had time to figure things out. They didn’t have a book to read, but the Athosians had kids, so in time he could ask them about it. Although he needed to be discreet, because he didn’t wanted to arouse suspicion about it being his. He was so damned nervous about admitting this was his baby. “Are we going to tell them? Because I'm not sure I'm comfortable with everyone... you know...”

“Carson and Jennifer know I'm pregnant, no one else needs to know yet, gives me a few months before I need to tell the senior staff and about seven months before people need to find out it's yours. That's assuming by then you still want to help.”

“Yeah, of course. It's going to be my kids... kid too.” His eyes shot open. “It is one I hope.”

She smiled. “As far as I know. You have twins in your family?”

“No,” he answered hesitative.

“Me either, so chances are, it’s just one. Won’t really know until I can get a scan.”

Each answer she gave created at least one new question. He moved his hand through his hair and gave her a worried look. “Okay, you should get that scan.”

“I'm only a month along, John.” She chuckled and he knew it was because of his lack of knowledge.

“Okay. How long until Beckett can do the scan?”

She smiled at him and pulled her hands back in her lap, pressing them to her stomach. “About 6 more weeks.”

He was sure his eyes rolled in his head. “That long? We should ask if he can do it sooner.” He really just needed some formal confirmation that Elizabeth and the baby were okay.

“We?” A daring smile accompanied the glitter in her eyes. At least she seemed less worried than he was.

“Hmm... It's my baby too. It probably would be best if at least Carson knows that.”

They were silent for a moment and she bit her lips, considering his words. “Okay, I think I can arrange for a meeting with Carson.”

Suddenly the burden fell from his shoulders. If Doctor Beckett knew, he could go and ask question without being weird. That helped and gave him a secure feeling.

John looked up. “Good, so we're okay again?”

Elizabeth nodded. “Yeah.”

“And you're good too?”

“I'm gonna get my baby.” She smiled happy and content.

“Our baby,” he corrected and gently touched her stomach. He pulled back quickly, not sure if it was appropriate to touch her like that.

Her hands reached for his cheek and a wide smile curled her beautiful lips. “Our baby.”

She shook her head. “You're gonna drive me crazy with the over protective thing, aren’t you.”

“Who me?” he spoke with an innocent smile plastered to his face.

She narrowed her eyes. “You're not gonna let me meet any other aliens, are you?”

“Sure I will, I'll just make sure they won't come near you for at least 40 yards, maybe I'll make it 50 to be on the safe side.”

“I'll have to learn to negotiate through a megaphone.”

He liked this part of their conversation. Just joking around and telling each other how they felt. It improved their relation, their professional relation. It was good to know they could count on each other and since they haven’t been working together for long it was good to say things like this. Besides, the uncomplicated setting made it easier for them to speak up. And yes, things with the baby were going to become more complex, but he was sure they could work something out. Find a way to keep Elizabeth safe while she was doing her job.

They both smiled and he looked deep in her eyes, drowning in their beauty. The speckles of light dancing along her face added to the mystic feeling he felt. Unnoticeable he leant forward and tenderly ran his hand along her face. “How definite is our agreement of a one time thing?” he said softly, almost whispering.

She pulled back to break their touch. “You set most of the terms. In fact, I think you said you didn't want to be in my personal life.”

“We're gonna have a baby, that wasn't the plan either.” He pulled his hand back and took her hands in his.

“True, but we also still have an expedition to run and a repeat right now wouldn't be a good idea.”

She could be all business if she wanted. However, that was not what he wanted. Slowly he turned her to face him and took a step forward. In response she took a small step backwards. He locked her between his arms, hands placed on the tent wall behind her. Her eyes grew large and she took another step backwards to regain her balance. “Why not?” he asked pinning her to the canvas, trying not to knock the whole thing over.

“Someone might come looking.” Her hands came closer to his face, but they didn’t touch. He could feel her irregular breaths on his skin, sending jolts through his body. “Besides, we promised each other it was a one...”

He cut her sentence off with a kiss. The taste of her lips made his limbs tingle. One hand moved around her back, pulling her closer. He broke the kiss for some fresh air and searched for her reaction, but she was speechless. “God, did I tell you last time how beautiful you are?”

A blush coloured her cheeks. “I don't remember.”

“Well you are.” He leaned forward again and kissed her soft lips. This time he was allowed to roam freely along her lips.

He could melt in the feeling of her touch. Her soft skin under his hands after he gently tugged her shirt up. She shuddered at the sensation. Tenderly, his hand moved over her stomach. The thought of his child growing there added to his arousal and made him hunger for more. His hands worked tenderly to clear more skin, while his kiss became fiercer. A need to get more contact was hard to fight. Her hands were on his shoulder, pulling him in. Slowly his hand traced a path to the band of her pants. His kissing attack had devoured her lips and searched for a fresh spot on her neck. Skilfully his hand slipped past the waistband, but instead of a gasp or moan she pressed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him off.


	3. Chapter 3

Elizabeth had to put a lot of effort into stopping him. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a repeat of their night. It was just that now was not a good time. They have hundreds of things to deal with, people to secure and a community to set up. Find food, resources and figure out how to replenish their medical and military supplies. Thousands of things were flitting through her brain at the moment and one of those thoughts kept pushing its way to the front – how was she going to look after a baby as well as everyone else out in the middle of the Pegasus galaxy. This was it after all. They had no fall back, no other planet to go to and no back up from the SGC.

“John,” she said pushing at his shoulders and drawing his eyes back to hers. “We can’t do this, there’s too much to do right now and we should really talk about this properly before we even think to do that again,” she said with a grin.

“Does that mean you want to do that again?” John asked his brow quirked.

“I’ll think about it,” she said teasingly and pushing him a step back. Right now she had to concentrate on more immediate problems, like food and fresh water and anything else this planet had to offer. “Can we talk about this later,” she asked. “I mean seriously talk about it, what we want how to deal with... everything.”

“Sure, I’ll come find you later,” he said with a grin.

“We need to have a senior staff meeting, figure out how to deal with the immediate problems. Can you gather everyone while I work out what we need to discuss?”

“Absolutely.”

She let him guide her out of the tent and followed him through the camp. She had to admit he was a gentleman, or he could be when there was something important to him at stake. It made her curious to know if he’d still be like this with her had she not been pregnant or even if they hadn’t shared that one night together.

They separated after a few moments walking and she paused for a moment to watch him head for the medical tent her mind rolling back to the hotel room on Earth when she’d felt a strange sense of relaxation with him, a comfortable sensation that had caused her to lean in and kiss him. She wanted to do it again. Despite being military and his black mark John Sheppard was a good man and it drew her to him. She shook her head and headed towards the command tent to check in.

“Chuck?” She said stepping in and looking around. “You’re up early.”

“Couldn’t sleep,” the technician admitted. “I’m probably not the only one,” he added with a smile and a look that told her she looked as though something had kept her up.

“We should set the example and not let this become a habit,” she said with a comforting smile. “Do you have my computer?”

“Yes,” he said and moved away to extract her computer from a box. “We’re trying to set up the command structure, the control staff to buffer everyone from you and the military switchboard, so to speak,” he indicated two other people who, until now she hadn’t realised who they were. She nodded at Doctor Zelenka before turning back to Chuck.

“Good work,” she said. “I’m going to vanish into a meeting with senior staff for a while, think you can keep them in order?” she said teasingly.

“I don’t know, ma’am, Doctor Zelenka is quite a handful.” Zelenka turned to give him a hurt look that quickly degraded into a smile. “There’s a tent a few feet from here set up for meeting and interrogations, though at the moment its only use is a storage room.”

“It’ll do, send everywhere else there.”

“Yes, ma’am.” she gave him a playful ‘stop that’ look and headed for their temporary conference room.

Elizabeth sat staring at the computer screen containing her list of things to do. One hundred and one things to set up a camp – it hadn’t quite reached 101, but only because she had stuck to the essentials, food, water, medication, shelter and other necessities. Still she couldn’t help wonder if any of this was worthwhile. Where they safe here? What were the chances that the wraith would be able to track them again? Carson stepped into the small tent first, with John finding the senior staff Elizabeth could practically trace his steps based on the order they arrived. He had started with the medical tent to give her a chance to talk to Carson about the baby.

“Morning,” Carson greeted and looked around for a place to sit.

“Pull up a box,” she offered with a smile and a hand in the direction of some stacked boxes. She was sat on a long lockable box she knew had medical supplies in.

“Someone should have thought to pack chairs,” Carson said picking up one of the small boxes and setting it down next to her. “Having no lumbar support won’t help when you’re about six months pregnant.”

“Who’s pregnant?” Rodney asked stepping in just in time to catch the last word. Elizabeth gave Carson a pleading look.

“At least one of the Athosian women,” the doctor offered.

“Well that’s obvious; she’s the size of a house. How she managed to out run the Wraith is a mystery.”

“Rodney,” Elizabeth said in warning.

“Well, it’s not like she can run the 100 meters in under 10 seconds, is it?”

Elizabeth shook her head and turned her attention back to the computer. She was tempted to add ‘teach Rodney manners’ to the list, but her battery monitor caught her attention and she added ‘powering equipment’ instead. She was drawn from adding another item when Carson abruptly stood up.

“Here, love,” he said as Elizabeth looked up at Teyla standing uncomfortably in the entrance. Carson moved to get another box as Teyla moved into the room and sat down in his vacated spot.

Elizabeth gave her an encouraging smile before looking around at the assembled personnel. Only John was absent and she had to wonder why he hadn’t shown up with Teyla.

“Rodney, how are the jumper repairs going?” she asked starting the meeting without John.

“Radek’s looking into the damage on Jumper One later today,” he said with a grin. “The other ship should be in working order. Assuming it was left that way to start with.”

“We shouldn’t really assume that, should we?” John asked joining them at last.

“No,” Elizabeth said. “Check the other one yourself, make sure they both end up in great condition, they’ll be useful later. Right now, we have more important things to talk about.”

“Like exploring the planet,” John said taking a seat on the box next to her. She had to shift a little closer to Teyla to make room for him.

“That’s not exactly high on my priorities.”

“It should be,” Rodney cut in. “For all we know there could be another civilisation here, or even a better piece of land to grow crops on, wild life patches, fresh water...”

“I get the idea, thank you, Rodney.”

“I’m just saying we could do with taking stock of what’s available on the planet.”

“I agree, but there are a few other things we need to do first, like giving everyone a place to sleep, finding food, water...”

“All of which will be quicker if we know what’s available to us.”

Elizabeth’s head dropped and she studied her list again. Rodney had a valid point, knowing what was around them, on this patch of land would be helpful. Knowing how much space they had to spread out on and if there were other continents on the planet and what was on them would prove more valuable than checking the sea water for fish.

“Okay,” she said, “but I’m not willing to send too many people out to search the area or the planet. “One person can take a Jumper out to check the basics of the planet. Meanwhile, we’ll set up a few small teams to spread out and see what they can find.”

“I believe my people will be able to aid with that,” Teyla spoke up. “We are well aware of good soil for crops and which plants would be edible.”

“Thank you, I’ll add a security guard to each of the teams in case they come across anything dangerous.” She paused to go through the information in her head. “How are we doing with injuries, Carson?”

“Nothing major so far, just a few cuts and bruises, lots of scared people and such, we’ve taken to cleaning small cuts with water instead of medical alcohol and only applying bandages when absolutely necessary.”

“Good. If you can spare the time then I’d like you to take charge of inventory, make sure we know what we have and where it is, if you can find places to stack things reasonably so all the medical supplies are together and so forth, that would be very helpful.”

“Aye, having things all over the place isn’t useful.”

“No,” she said. “Rodney’s on Jumper checking, check the good one quickly before someone goes out in it, wouldn’t want them to have an accident.”

“Maybe Teyla should take the exploring off your hands,” John said. “She could get volunteers from the Athosians and add a uniform to each small team and send them out.”

“Of course,” Teyla said with a smile.

“Alright,” Elizabeth agreed. “I’d also like someone from your people to work with our constructor to work out how many ‘homes’ we need to create and how to set the camp out. If there’s nearby land for food, we wouldn’t want them to have to drag it through the village to a storage room.”

Teyla nodded and Elizabeth turned to John. “I suppose you want to take the Jumper out.” John just grinned at her, a smirk that said she knew him way too well already. She shook her head. “Alright, but keep radio contact with the command tent as often as you can.”

“Yes, boss,” he said.

“Okay,” she said, trying not to smirk at his playfulness. “Let’s get to work.”

As the others got up to leave, Elizabeth grabbed John’s arm to stop him from moving, she needed a security update and for some reason she didn’t want to ask for it in front of the others. As the tent flap closed behind Carson she turned to look at him and found him grinning at her.

“What?” She asked, unable to stop herself from smile.

“People are gonna talk if we keep these little get-togethers up,” he teased. She laughed lightly and shook her head.

“Are the security team shift rotations sorted?”

“Oh crap, I knew there was something I forgot to do,” he said then broke into a grin. “We’ve been here more than a day and you don’t trust me,” he tutted at her.

“John,” she said half amused, half warning.

“It’s sorted with enough men to cover the perimeter and still leave enough for internal security, helping hands and with space for an off world team or two later.”

“And there’s plenty of room to rearrange the camp?”

“Yep.”

“And somewhere for the children to play?”

“Well I think we’ve got plenty of time to find something suitable, you still have seven months left...”

“I meant the Athosian children,” she interrupted with a chuckled.

“Knew that,” he said with a smile. Silence fell for a moment and he watched her hand, resting on the side of the computer she still had resting on her lap.

“I think we should name the planet,” she said bluntly and turned to look at him. “It’s our home now, at least for a while.”

“Okay, got any ideas?” John asked running through possible names. “Atlantis Two,” he suggested. “Elizabeth World, Sheppard’s Kingdom. You can be my Queen,” He added with a smirk plastered to his face.

She couldn’t stop the grin from forming. “Hmm, Elizabeth World has merit.”

“The Lost World.”

“We’re not in Jurassic Park, John.”

“Well you come up with something.”

“Terra Navo.”

“Terra Navo?”

“It’s Ancient for New Earth,” she explained. “Well actually, it’s Earth New, but Navo Terra doesn’t sound right.”

“Terra Navo,” John said again. “Sounds good. I hope you’re this good with baby names.”

Elizabeth chuckled. “Get going,” she said nodding towards the entrance to the tent. “Before I give the Jumper ride to someone else.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey,” John said, joining Rodney as he was working on his laptop near the Jumper.

The only response he got was a, “Hmm.”

“Is the Jumper ready?”

Rodney looked up, but half his mind was still processing the laptop readings. “Yeah, sure.”

It was unbelievable how engrossed Rodney could be with his work and how much trouble it would take to get his full attention. “McKay!” he said sharply.

“Yeah, yeah. I checked the Jumper. It’s ready to fly.”

“Are you sure?” John still wasn’t used to Rodney’s chaotic way of working. However, he did seem to be the best scientist they had brought along for the mission.

To his surprise Rodney looked up, albeit a little annoyed. “Yes, I checked the flight controls, which are quite interesting. The way the ship uses not only manual control but interaction with the pilot is amazing. I’ll have to test a few things with the other jumper, but this could definitely be an advantage. If we figure out what else we can do with this, besides cloaking, we might be able to adapt the technology and place it in other… Hmm, well it’s beneficial here too...”

John swallowed and waited patiently for Rodney to continue his story. Rodney scanned his laptop again before he heaved his head.

“There is a little thing with the weapons system, so you’d better not get into a space battle. Oh, I’ve also rerouted some of the life support capacity to the engines, but its still within safety margins. Just don’t stay too long in, well you know.”

“No Rodney, I don’t. Is the Jumper ready or not? It’s just a reconnaissance flight.”

“Sure,” Rodney replied with an over exaggerated expression on his face. “Just don’t go and meet strangers or stay too long in orbit. Other then that I think this Gate ship is good to go.”

John narrowed his eyes, but before he could correct Rodney, he mumbled, “Jumper.”

“Good, thank you.”

While Rodney turned back to the laptop and started to walk away, John inspected the hull.

“Oh,” Rodney called after him. “I’ve added an information pad with some info on the ship systems. You should probably read it before you leave.”

John tilted his head around the side of the Jumper, but Rodney was no longer in sight. He sighed and continued to circle the Jumper. When he reached the hatch on the rear side he found a smiling Elizabeth. “Hey. You again.”

“What took you so long?” She joked, with a hand on her hip and slightly canted to one side.

“I was collecting the required equipment and checking the Jumper. You never know with McKay.” He narrowed his eyes and inspected her. A grin was about to emerge on her face and it aroused his curiosity.

Elizabeth pulled her hand from behind her back and held a pre-packed sandwich up. “Well then this should help. I figured you find it more than vital for a jumper trip.”

A laugh came from John’s mouth, while mixed feeling surfaced. The gesture was kind, but painful too, remembering him of the joke he and Lieutenant Ford had shared. He pulled his lips in a smile and accepted the sandwich. “Thanks, this will keep me alive.” 

 

A wide smile formed on Elizabeth’s lips and she looked relaxed at him, which was new. The last couple of days were so stressful and straining, taking its toll on everyone. Therefore it was good to see that for a brief moment she relaxed.

“So?” John asked after a short silence.

“So, I guess I wish you a pleasant flight, Major.”

“Major?” he asked wondered if she was joking, caught up in her routine or making a point. He narrowed his eyes. “What happened to simply John or Sheppard?”

Elizabeth chuckled slightly. “Good luck, John!”

John’s eyes gleamed, guessing she wasn’t pointing out that while working they would talk ranks. “Much better.” His smile was as wide as his cheeks and he fiddled with the sandwich. “I better go now, or I won’t be back before dinner.”

“I’ll keep something warm for you.”

“You do that!” He turned around and stepped inside the Jumper. Elizabeth took a few steps back when the hatch started to close. Their eyes locked and he knew a huge smirk was present on his face. ‘O god, how was this going to end?’ With a soft thud the hatch door closed and sealed itself. John bit his lip, turned around and walked to the pilot seat. He threw the sandwich on the co-pilot seat where Rodney had put the manual.

John sat down, his mind still on Elizabeth. Things for the two of them had changed so much in the past couple of days and for the time being the end of the roller coaster was far from sight. Without a means to get back to earth or contact them they had to survive and fight a gruesome alien race. A race that was able to make the ancients retreat back to Earth.

He placed his hands on the console in front of him and lights turned on. Quickly he went over the flight controls once more before lifting off. Smoothly the Jumper gained altitude and the soft hum it made sounded gracious and yet mystical. After clearing the area and getting enough height, John increased speed and rapidly ascended to a low orbit around the planet. So far all systems seemed operational, making him quite contempt with ‘his’ Jumper. ‘His’ for the moment at least. He grinned and shook his head. If he hadn’t agreed to go on the mission, he wouldn’t be flying here. ‘How fast could it fly?’ He felt the sparkle in his eyes and the eager to test it. And before he realized the small Island beneath him vanished and vast Ocean went past him at high velocity.

“Fast!” He smirked and tried to push it further. Even the thought of a basic flight manoeuvres made the Jumper react and turn, twist and swoop on command. Damn, this was fun, too bad he had an actual mission to complete. He made the ship come to a halt and inspected the readings on the holographic HUD. The majority of this planet seemed to exist out of water. The scanners showed him statistics about the weather and ocean beneath him.

Large areas of the ocean where too deep to be measured by the Jumper, giving John a slightly eerie feeling. He would be more comfortable to know exactly what was going everywhere on the planet, but maybe that goal was too far stretched for a first mission. He set the console on recording mode and flew over an area to collect more specific data for Rodney to study. The first thing he noticed was the lack of nautical wildlife in the deep areas of the Ocean. Or the scanners weren’t picking them up. It seemed as if the Ocean was lifeless in certain areas, while others were flooded with fish in different sizes. ‘Odd readings.’ He shook his head and tried to dive deeper in the Jumper commands to get more information. He glanced at the manual, but reading that felt like a weakness. He could figure this Jumper out and discover the best and most efficient way to use it on missions. This was a simple reconnaissance mission, no need for fancy tricks.

He sighed and looked up to the thin layer of sky above him. Breaking the atmosphere would make it easier and faster to collect overall data from the planet. However, he hesitated. He was a pilot and not an astronaut… yet. With a grin and dazzling speed the Jumper entered a steep upwards angle and pushed itself through the last barrier between the planet and space. Once through the gravitational pull no longer restricted the Jumper and it levelled out automatically.

The sight was breathtaking. Two moons and a gigantic gas planet arose in front of the window. He held his breath for a moment and was amazed by the magnificent view. Slowly, he exhaled and took a new breath. The last time he was in space he had been on the mission to rescue the captives from the Wraith. Not a second had he enjoyed that flight, but now he had the chance to do so. In addition, the data collector recorded reading about the solar system they were in and even though he could only picked out a few things he understood, he was sure many of the scientists on the planet would be thrilled about the readings.

Smoothly he adjusted the Jumpers position into a high orbit around the planet and set a course to fly around a few times to get a basic scan of the entire planet. The first fifteen minutes of this was fun and trying to decipher the readings seemed interesting, but knowing he would be flying here for another two hours and seven minutes sounded boring. The flight pad was preset, so there was very little use for him starting at the console in front of him. Therefore his eyes hovered to the sandwich on the seat next to him. It looked tempting, but saving it seemed like a better idea.

~~**~~

John was relieved to see Ocean instead of the blackness from space. On his ‘to-scan’ list were making scans of 20 Island in total, from which one was relatively large in comparison to the others. The Islands were scattered across the globe and he set course for the nearest one. It took a few minutes before he reached it and while flying over it he recorded data. Meanwhile he was deciding what would be the most efficient route to the next Island, an even smaller one as this one.

After flying for a few hours he hadn’t thought much about the ordeal he was in. He had actually used the time to clear his head and relax. Like the way he could relax flying any plane on Earth. Being one with the swiftness of the sky around and being alone. From all the things he had left behind on Earth, the chance to be alone was the one he would miss the most. Not that he didn’t like having friends around, but he also needed space and air around him.

He bit his lip and watched the rapid list of data scrolling on the HUD. Most of it didn’t make much sense and quickly his eyes were drawn back to watching the horizon far in front of him. As far as he could see there was Ocean. So unbelievable, but yet it also explained why nobody lived here. It would be nearly impossible for any society to evolve and make a living on the scarce land. Hopefully there was enough land for the expedition to use and farm.

John rolled his neck and stretched his muscles. Behind him was his bag with supplies. He leaned towards it and reached for one of the water bottles when the Jumper jolted. It shook him in his seat, returning his full attention to flying. In front of him a purple marking blinked.

“Purple,” John shot wondering and annoyed at the same time. What the heck did purple mean? Red is for stopping, green for go and Orange and Yellow to warn you, but purple.... His mind was turning the ancients into a weird group of people, but before his opinion completed the ship jolted again. This time the shaking was more violent and his head hit the console in front of him.

The purple sign started blinking faster, indicating it desperately needed attention. With his mind John started diagnostics or at least he hoped that would be it. On command the ship’s schematics appeared on the HUD and more than one problem was marked. Without warning another jolt went through the ship, but this time he was prepared and stayed in his seat. It became a challenge to keep the Jumper flying straight. John tried searching for a good place to land, when an electrical surge rapidly rolled over the console and engulfed his hands. The crackling sparks spread out from his hands to his wrists and shot up his arms. The searing pain that followed went through every fiber of his nerves. Only half conscious John desperately set a in a landing course onto the water near the Island. However with the now constant shaking of the Jumper and the increasing pain, it would be more likely that he would crash instead of safely set down.

The horizon outside the windows switched from land, to sky to sea view. Spinning out of control the ship was destined to fall victim to gravity. Another jolt tore a crack in the window and shards started to come loose by the intense force of wind. One by one they turned into a projectile on intercept course, searching for any target in their way. A loud crackling from behind made John turn in his seat. Sparks, smoke and fire came from one of the hatches.

“Oh,” John grunted and a deep groan left his throat. His hand moved to the back of his neck and found a piece of glass lashed in his flesh. Slowly he turned his head back and the view in front of him was blue, but it wasn’t the sky. “Crap,” was the last word that came from his mouth before the Ocean crashed.


	5. Chapter 5

She caught herself again, staring off in the distance watching for the Jumper. John had been gone for six hours now and there had been only a few communications between him and Chuck. She shook herself out of it, she couldn’t do this to herself, there was no relationship between them, at least not yet. Sure, she could worry that he’d gotten lost or something had gone wrong with the Jumper on a “leader of the expedition level” but to sit here and brood because he wasn’t there with her was just stupid.

Forcing herself to concentrate on her work, she turned her back to the computer and found Kate Heightmeyer standing nearby watching her. She sighed, knowing that Kate would be following her from now on trying to get into her head. It wouldn’t be hard, everything that could go wrong practically had gone wrong and as the leader of the expedition she was the most stressed person around. Followed closely by Rodney McKay if he wasn’t careful. She tried not to notice as Kate moved towards her, looking at though she was busy would only last a short time and Elizabeth knew the psychologist wouldn’t have problems interrupting her work if she thought there was good cause.

“Doctor Weir,” Kate said, sitting down on the box next to her. Elizabeth just smiled and waited patiently as an Athosian approached and handed them both a bottle of water and a sandwich. Elizabeth set hers down on the ground between her feet and waited as Kate took a sip of water. “Things could be worse,” she said at least, her pitch rising slightly. For a moment Elizabeth considered just saying she couldn't see how, but she actually could.

"It could have been a lot better too," she said instead.

"True," Kate agreed, "but we can't change what has happened." Elizabeth nodded and silence slipped in between them. "Elizabeth," Kate started and Elizabeth tried hard not to let her eyebrow rise. "You have the most stressful job here. You watch over everything, every little detail comes to you. Everyone has been on edge and upset about how this has turned out and you're no different. But you are the one everyone will be looking at for guidance and you can't keep your emotions bottled up. People were worried when you started getting sick and you need to know that letting stress get you to the point where you're compromising your health..."

"I'm not sick, I'm pregnant," Elizabeth interrupted. "And I know how stressed I am and trust me, there's nowhere I'd rather be right now than laying down somewhere and talking about this mess. But I just don't have that luxury."

"You're pregnant? Did they know about this before we left?"

Elizabeth just shook her head. "My medical was three months before we left. I’m just over a month along. I didn't know until we got here."

"Then it can't help that you're here and you're fiance is back on Earth." Elizabeth looked away, considering telling her the truth or just letting her work things out for herself over time. People would find out about the baby easily in a couple of months and she had a feeling they'd be able to guess it was John's shortly thereafter. But right here and now, Kate was right, keeping her emotions and stress bottled up about this whole mess wasn't going to help her and it was going to make things worse with the baby. "It doesn't belong to him, does it." Elizabeth turned back to the doctor with a sigh and shook her head.

"I don't expect Simon to wait for me, don't think I expected after we last talked a few months back."

"So why did you pick Major Sheppard?" Elizabeth shock horror must have been very plane as Kate quickly apologised. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to be so presumptuous. It's just that there's something in the way you look at him, and there's definitely something in the way he looks at you."

"Spur of the moment decision." She finally closed her laptop and set it to lean against the box. "I haven't really had the chance to think about the whys and what ifs."

"But you don't regret it?"

"No," Elizabeth answered without hesitation. It was the only thing she was sure of now, she didn't regret that night with John and she'd never regret doing it again. She wouldn't be able to look at the baby and wonder if she'd still love it had it been created with Simon or wonder what she was thinking having done this with John. She knew he wasn't prepared, it was her fault he wasn't she shouldn't have told him it was okay not to use protection. She should have forced herself to take that trip to the infirmary between meetings, even if she did end up late to the next one. But if she'd done that, she would never get to have a child of her own.

"Have you actually had a conversation with him about this?" Elizabeth could hear the unspoken 'or anything, for that matter'. Truth was they hadn't really had the chance to do any sort of talking except for things that they needed to do for the benefit of the others and the one time they had talked, she hadn't really been all that willing to listen to John. "We can find somewhere to sit, just the three of us and talk through this. You can't do this on your own, not with the expedition to deal with as well. You'll need his help even if you don't want any form of relationship with him." Elizabeth looked away, she didn't know if a relationship with John was a good or bad idea, but somewhere in all of this she had started to consider giving it a try. He'd already made it clear that he wanted to be a part of the baby's life and out here there wasn't much she could do to stop him, even if she wanted it.

"I think I should try that conversation alone first. We've had bits of discussions, not telling everyone straight off was one of the things we agreed on and, no offence, you weren't on our list of informants." Kate nodded in understanding. Elizabeth laughed sharply before she let her head drop for a second. "I don't even know what I want right now. I know I want this baby, but beyond that I have nothing. On Atlantis, it would have been easier to stop myself from saying there was a chance a relationship between us would be worth the try, we could have had contact with Earth quickly and it would have put a stop to anything and everything. But here," she stopped to look around at the settlement. "Here, there is so little and we've lost so many. If we worked out, we could have a whole family, show people that it was what we needed to do, but at the same time, if we failed, how would we work together in this mess." She watched a little Athosian girl following one of the marines across the camp, trying hard to mimic his movement. "If I tell these people they can't have relationships and families now, that someone will come and save us and I'm wrong, it will set us back too long."

"And if you encourage the relationships and they find us in a few weeks, you risk losing half the expedition and your job."

"And any chance I could have had with John."

"Sounds to me like you've made up most of the decisions there, the rest you need to discuss with him."

Sighing, she looked back out over the horizon, still no sign of the Jumper. As she turned back to Kate she caught sight of Chuck watching her, when he was sure she was watching him he shook his head to tell her there was still no word from the major.

"Now I just have to hope he comes back in one piece. It would be the ultimate kick in the teeth if he had an accident because he was thinking about this instead of flying that ship."

Kate just smiled, placed a hand on Elizabeth's arm and then got up. "Even if that were the case, he'd find a way back," she said and turned to head back to her makeshift office.

~~**~~

Water. There shouldn’t have been water here, not in his house. Eyes still closed John’s brow creased at the thought of a house, he didn’t have a house and if his memory was working right he wasn’t even on Earth and they were living out of military issue tents. He peeked an eye open and then quickly closed it against the bright light. That’s when he noticed it, the throbbing in his head and the sting across his forehead telling him there was more to it. He peeked again, this time daring to keep the eye open longer and stared up at the ceiling of the Jumper. There was an access panel open and a slither of smoke drifting out. He was laying on the floor on his back, the sound of the ocean around him washed louder in his direction and he felt the water flow around him, not deep enough to cause him a problem as he was but for a moment he thanked whoever was listening that he hadn’t landed face down.

He shifted carefully, aware of the pain in his head. Testing each muscles and movement before moving another he found pains in his chest that he could only guess were from ribs and aches in joints all over his body. Carefully moving to sit against the bench John looked around the Jumper. Rodney’s datapad was floating near the hatch, the water damage would stop it being of any use to him, not that he expected repair instructions on there.

He looked up, the racks above the bench opposite were empty and John wondered if anyone had had the foresight to consider putting food and water up there, or if at this point they expected all the ships to work perfectly. Misguided as that now was. He shifted, slowly getting to his feet and pausing to let a wave and nausea subside before he waded into the cockpit. The water was lower in here, though he stopped to look back, the water had risen a little and he realised the tide was coming in this way. Turning back he surveyed the control panel, lights off aside from one flickering orange light. He reached out and prodded the button, but nothing happened.

Sighing, he turned away and spotted something on the side panel. The pre-packed sandwich sat balanced on the side panel, tipping with the sway of the jumper as the water outside shifted it from side to side. John moved a little too fast, grabbing the pack before it slipped off and into the water. He regretted the movement instantly and had to brace himself on the co-pilot chair to stop from passing out. Or throwing up.

When he managed to compose himself, John moved back through the jumper and opened the hatch. Extra water washed in around his feet and he staggered against it for a moment before squinting out at the ocean. He knew he was in trouble as he rounded the jumper, he could see the other side of the island from where he stood and as he stepped out onto the beach, still somewhat underwater, he could actually gage the size of the small piece of land.

Trudging up the bank to the dry sand, and squelching shoes, John looked around at the objects littering the island. A few scattered groups of trees, a patch of grass and a flat top rock.

“Radio,” he muttered turning back to the jumper and stopping to watch his radio and Rodney’s datapad float out to sea. “Backup radio,” he muttered, starting a list of things to store in the jumpers. “First aid kit. Emergency rations. Signal flare.” He stopped, realising he had no idea how far from camp he was or even which direction it was in.

He turned where he stood, looking out over the oceans for other islands, there was nothing, not even a glimmer of something in the distance that could be home. He let out a short laugh. After fighting the Wraith, jumping from world to world, rescuing their people and the Athosians, a Jumper fault was gonna be the thing to kill him. Starving to death on a tiny island in the middle of an ocean was the last thing he wanted.

What he did want, was to get back to the camp, get his head wound looked at and go kiss Elizabeth Weir. She had a way of sneaking in to his thoughts lately, something he’d never managed to do with his ex-wife. Elizabeth was more intoxicating. That and she was pregnant with his child, which was never far from his mind now.

“Elizabeth,” he said to the trees. “I hope you have good instincts, I haven’t checked in for almost three hours now.”

~~**~~

Elizabeth stepped up beside Chuck some time later and examined the computer screen while he was busy with a list on another screen. He jumped as he turned back, obviously not noticing her approach, and scrambled to his feet.

“Doctor Weir,” he said, a little too high in pitch. “Is there something I can do for you?”

“No,” she said, giving him a reassuring smile. “I came to see if there were any messages from the hunting parties or Major Sheppard.”

“Erm, all of the hunting groups checked in half hour ago, they were moving on for another hour before turning back. Nothing from the Major in a while.”

“Hmmm,” she hummed and pointed to the screen. “What’s this?” There was a spike of signal on the screen.

“I don’t really know, it started about 20 minutes ago. I called Doctor McKay but he was somewhat grumpy and said he’d be here soon.”

Elizabeth quirked a brow, her stomach giving an uneasy flip-flop and her mind flying back to her conversation with Kate Heighmeyer and their joke about John having an accident. She should have known better than to make a comment like that when there was still so much unknown on this planet. Swallowing, to save from throwing up, she reached for the radio.

“Doctor McKay,” she said, and released the button to wait for his reply.

“This had better be important, I’m busy.”

“It’s Doctor Weir, we’re picking up a signal...”

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

“Now, Rodney,” she snapped. She regretted it a moment later as silence followed and she wondered just how the doctor would take an order from her. She turned away from Chuck and spotted Rodney quick footing his way towards her, he didn’t look at all pleased to have been interrupted, but she didn’t really have a choice.

“A signal from what?” he asked, attempting to be polite.

“I’m not sure,” Chuck said. “It looks like it’s coming from the middle of the ocean.” Chuck pointed futilely at the screen for a moment before Rodney brushed him aside.

“Huh,” Rodney said, after a few minutes of typing and reading.

“What?” she asked, the feeling in the pit of her stomach twisted again and she braced herself on the nearby chair. Rodney turned to her and faltered for a moment and she knew she’d gone pale.

“It’s a Jumper signal.”

“A Jumper signal? In the middle of the ocean?” Chuck asked and Elizabeth turned the chair so she could sit down. She had to lean forward on her knees as panic overtook and she struggled for a moment before she managed to speak.

“Get Lieutenant Cadman out in the other Jumper.”

“You’re not gonna pass out are you?” Rodney asked as Chuck took off to find Cadman. She shook her head slowly and squeezed her eyes tight hoping she wouldn’t end up lying.


	6. Chapter 6

John moved back into the Jumper, the heat from outside was starting to hurt his face to the point, he suspected, was sunburn. The shelter of the Jumper was extremely welcome considering the island had a serious lack of trees and rocks. In fact the only thing on the whole planet was a hatch he couldn’t reach, and not through lack of trying.

He’d found the hatch only an hour into arriving, hoping the island was somehow connected to the mainland, he’d followed one coast until he circled back and found himself staring at the other side of the Jumper only three hours later. Having quickly given that up as a lost cause, emphasis on lost, he made his way inland hoping to find bushes with food and a freshwater sauce. He’d come across nothing but that hatch and had spend almost five hours trying to figure out how to get past the ancient shield protecting it.

It wasn’t until he realised he’d been stuck there for 10 hours that he gave up and headed back to the Jumper and his hopefully still edible sandwich.

The water that had risen slowly in the Jumper since the crash came up to his knees, just below the end of the bench he’d dropped down on and was oddly refreshing and not too cold. For a moment, John considered dipping under it to cool his face down, but decided against it when he saw a strange fish wiggle by and then back out of the ship.

“Wish I had a camera,” he said to himself as he pulled open the sandwich. “Pretty fish picture for Elizabeth,” he added to his thoughts before taking a huge bite from the turkey sandwich. He screwed up his face at the dry, tasteless and now warm snack, but it was the only source of food he had and he had no idea if anyone had realised he was missing.

Sighing he took another bit before he realised something under the water at the front end of the ship was flashing green. Chewing and swallowing quickly he dropped the sandwich on the side and waded forward until the water was up to his chest. He took a deep breath before vanishing under the water to get a better look at the cockpit HUD.

“Ship,” he said surfacing quickly and slipping in his haste to get to the hatch at the back of the ship.

He skidded out onto the sand, holding tight to the pain in his side, and leaving a groove under his foot, and scanned the horizon, he couldn’t see anything. He turned on the spot, one hand over his ribs the over shading his eyes until he set eyes on the black dot moving quickly his way.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did,” he cautioned, not really knowing what he’d done wrong. He watched in slight confusion as the Jumper slid easily over the island, turned and moved to land just beside him. The hatch dropped and he found himself smiling at a very welcome face.

“Major,” Carson said with an equal grin. “Good to see you’re on your feet.”

“Yeah?” he asked a little too sarcastically as Radek and a crew slipped past him to the Jumper. “Just plain good to see you.”

John turned to watch the scientists stop at the entrance to the Jumper. He almost laughed when he realised none of them wanted to venture into the water.

“Tides in,” John offered. “Slow one too, took 10 hours to get like that.”

“Ten hours?” Radek exclaimed. “Your signal has only been transmitting for an hour, did you have to activate it?”

“No,” John said, thinking it through. “Nothing was working when I landed, I barely managed to get the Jumper to turn so I wasn’t in the middle of the sea.”

Radek turned back to the Jumper. “Wonder what was stopping it before.”

“I think I might know,” John said, flinching as Carson touched something raw on his face. He turned back to the edge of the grass patch on the edge of the sand and pointed. “Walk that way for half an hour, you’ll find a hatch. Be careful though, the shield has a mean shock system.”

John turned back to Carson with a grim smile. “Think I might have been in the sun for too long,” he said.

“Aye,” Carson replied with a nod. “Let’s get you home, Lieutenant Cadman can come back for Radek.”

~~**~~

Elizabeth paced as she waited, pausing whenever she pivoted to rest a hand over her nauseous stomach. In the last two days the sickness has calmed a little, less stress and less sick. Worry about John had brought it all back now and got her on her feet pacing across the tent. She wished it was bigger, then she remembered the size of the office she would have had on Atlantis and smiled, the tent was bigger.

“Jumper sighting,” Chuck said, sticking his head through the door, he pulled out then stepped in completely. “Ma’am, everything okay?” Elizabeth nodded, not trusting herself to talk. She had to take a deep breath and let it out as a sigh before she followed Chuck out of the tent.

She tried to walk slowly, calmly to the landing site next to the new medical tent but her heart rate made her feel as though she was rushing. She had imagined the worst in the last two hours, waiting for Cadman to fly out and come back with John on board. She'd pictured everything from just knocked unconscious until he could activate the beacon, to lying dead in the Jumper alone and even drowning under the sea. She ran a hand over her stomach at the thought of him being dead as she watched the Jumper set down.

The medical team stepped up beside her, the gurney between them and a medical bag on top. She wondered if they’d had a message that she didn’t know about and then turned quickly as the hatch lowered. Elizabeth had to shove the thought aside as the hatch opened and the team moved in ahead of her. They stepped back out a minute later and she creased her brow for a second before she saw John and Carson walk out together.

The sigh of relief was unavoidable and she had to work quick to cover her body's reaction to seeing him alive and, above all, walking off the Jumper. He gave her a weak smile as he passed her and disappeared into the medical tent. She let her emotions pass before she turned and followed them in.

There were still a few people in the tent from their arrival and attacks, but Carson had set John up with a bed at the far end of the infirmary. She watched as he pulled a curtain around the area and couldn't stop the thought that he'd done it to give them privacy if nothing else.

"Carson," she said, more of an asking tone in her voice than anything.

"Slight concussion, a couple of cracked ribs, sun burns, bruises and a few cuts. Nothing major. I want to keep him in for tonight at least and see how he's fairing in the morning." Elizabeth nodded. "You can go in when he's finished changing."

"Thank you," she said, giving the doctor a smile as he walked away. She hesitated a moment before approaching the curtain. She stepped in just as the nurse was helping him into a scrub top. The nurse smiled at her over John's shoulder before disappearing out of the curtained area.

Elizabeth waited while John slipped into the bed, trying hard to find a starting point for a conversation she didn't want to have right now. She knew if she left it, though, she wouldn't be able to sleep. That and the earlier they got this out of the way, the easier things would be between them.

"Hey," John started, snapping her out of her thoughts. "You okay?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I'm scared, John. I realised while you were gone that I can't do this alone. Any of it." She looked away, unable to show him just what her emotions where doing right now.

"Elizabeth," John said, shifting down the bed towards her. He pushed his legs off the edge to turn and face her. "You're not alone." He reached for her when she shook her head. "Hey, listen to me." He swallowed hard. "I will always come back to help you. With the baby and with Elizabeth World." Elizabeth laughed but a tear managed to escape down her cheek. He reached for her again, his time managing to catch the hand that was about to brush away the tear. She finally turned to look at him as he pulled her closer. "Whatever we call this place, whatever we call our baby, I'll always come back."

"How can you be so sure?" She asked, struggling to stop herself from crying.

John pulled her in close, wrapping her in his arms and letting her step between his legs before he whispered his reply. "Because I have something worth fighting to get back to."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, letting herself sink into his arms, she felt safe and comfortable her like she never had with anyone in the past. It felt right.


End file.
